Before I even start..let's just say once more that terrible things happen to good people. The so called 'bad' people seem to have their merry lives together and are enjoying every damn bit to the fullest!
Who is a MAN? When does a BOY become a MAN? When he reaches puberty? After he turns 18? After his first kiss? After his first erection? I DON'T KNOW, people. Shed some light into this and enlighten me!! Oh. wait. I should have asked 'WHEN DO MALES STOP BEING ANIMALS AND BECOME MEN.?' Do they ever?
Why can't these beings even ACT like they have some kind of emotional attachment toward the rest of us? Why can't they stop seeing all women as nothing but an orifice to quench their sexual thirst? Why can't he respect the person who LOVES him? How can he be so sweet to her and then trashes her to his friends? How are they capable of putting this marvelous facade? Doesn't he ever feel a bit guilty that they may be portraying her in a wrongful manner? Does he stop to think that his friends might also be fantasizing about her using the information that he's oh-so-conveniently provided for them and may be even act on those?
Males have penis and testes for a reason. Their strength, assertiveness, aggressiveness, courage, etc. are all attributed to those! Now a day, the men that I come across act like they lack the above organs. That is the SOLE REASON why they are not acting sanely.
What the fuck* is wrong with guys? Is it something in the air?
Who the fuck has the right to tell me that not all men are the same? Show me a freaking GOOD MAN!! Hell. Show me a MAN. A man who can stand up for himself....moreover, for the person who loves him. A man who does not want to keep a relationship secretive. A man who does not feel the need to boast through lying about his sexual encounters. A man who is not afraid of commitment. A man who does not feel the need to play mind games. A man who does not convey mixed feelings. A man who does not take a woman for granted. A man who DOES NOT LIE.
Fuck all those...Just show me a MAN!!!**
I don't expect people to be perfect. But you can't blame me if I expect them to be a bit cordial!
*Excuse the swear words.*
**Yes, I am alrite.*
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19 comments:
Dear, I'm so very sorry, the way you have generalized men leaves a bad taste in the mouth!
Whilst I may comprehend your frustration, I do not quite know/understand the reason for ur bashing of the entire community.
One simple logic.. "If you haven't seen something, doesn't mean that thing doesn't exist at all".
No breed is completely pure in this universe. Like there are viruses that kill and that cure, there are people (men and women alike) who fall on either side of the scale.
So I bestowed upon myself the right to tell you that world is not all that bad and your search hasn't been comprehensive!
Prashanth..I was merely talking about the men that I have encountered (save my father)!
I do not believe that the world is bad, either. I think that it is a beautiful place and one should cherish every inch of it and every second of life!
I am just frustrated at DIFFERENT men who seem to be showing the SAME characteristics! Trust me..it does get old after a while! One can't help but be frustrated!! I havent come in contact with all the men in the world, so I can't say how they all are! So..I am forced to make a statistical argument based on MY observations...hence..I will be biased!!
I don't expect anyone to be perfect, Prashanth. I just expect people to be HUMANE. I don't think that it is a lot to ask for..even for men!!
Karma: What goes around comes around!
i feel this is too much of a generalisation.. may be true in some case, not always..
Cheers
@ ekg
I can only talk in a empirical sense - what ive experienced through my senses! And this is what I have experienced!!
For an imagination, it seems pretty realistic. (clap, clap)
I am yet to see such a horrific portrayal about men even from the worst of feminist. For a novice feminist, you have done a pretty good job.
But in doing this you are only increasing the credibility of Men. you are showing to the world how important he is to you. Why wouldn't you just let him be. Why would you want to be frustrated by him.
Under most of the cases, men don't have the need to lie. They can face the devil (possibly because of the vestigial organs you mentioned he carries down under). He mostly lies because he doesn't have the time to wipe away the generating insecurities which you know is usually baseless. Get out of insecurities, everything will in place.
Do not see him as a someone whose sole purpose is eternal servitude to wo**n.
He is often a major victim of insecurity, mood swings, never ending nagging on how to be. It is the nature of the BEAST not to be chained by force... Be tender and he will purr around you.
But then that is not the end of problem init? If he shows over whelming love then he is taken for granted, he is hurt, his reason for this love questioned and poor thing doesn't know to cry.
I don't know if people will agree with him but Kamal Hassan once said in a very poetry he recites in Tamil (Movie Alavandhaan)
My apologies to people who cannot comprehend Tamil
"Pennai Nambi Pirakkum Pozhuthe Thoppul Kodigal Arupadume !
Mannai nambum maamaram ornaal maaperum puyalil verarume !
Unnai nambum uruppukal kooda oru pozhuthunnai kaividume !
Ithil pennai mattum nambum nambakam pina naal varayil pinvaruma?"
@ dipu
Read the third paragraph again. That's the source of all frustration.It is not an imaginary situation. It certainly did happen. You should know that I can't portray hardcore feelings when I'm making this up! I have better things to do than to sit here and make up stuff!!
I am not a feminist. Everyone gets pushed to the limit and please read this as a young woman's frustration...and nothing else!
Did you read the bit about the guy spreading (atrocious) lies about the girl? This is when he claims that he loves her! You can't possibly defend this guy who portrays her as a slut and compares her to some wart he can't just get rid of!!! And he claims that he loves her!! I FAIL to see the love!!
Anyway..quoting and replying what you wrote:
"Under most of the cases, men don't have the need to lie." - Dipu
Oh. I beg to differ. If men did not lie in MOST CASES, then there would be less divorces..less heartaches..and less illegitimate children running around!!
"He is often a major victim of insecurity, mood swings, never ending nagging on how to be." - Dipu
When someone (a guy) is in a relationship with SOMEONE ELSE (with a female), he has some responsibilities toward her. So does she. There is a bit of give and take in there. And I'm talking about a committed relationship. If he can't love the girl for who she is and if she can't love the guy for who he is, then the relationship shouldn't even exist! And people learn to accept, they tend to overlook the trivial things that otherwise may be a turnoff. And let's not get into the whole 'victim' bit here!
"He mostly lies because he doesn't have the time to wipe away the generating insecurities which you know is usually baseless. Get out of insecurities, everything will in place." - Dipu
If he has to lie about things, then he must be with the wrong person! Where does his time go? Aren't you being unfaithful when you lie?
"Do not see him as a someone whose sole purpose is eternal servitude to wo**n." - Dipu
I do not see men as that. I wonder where you got that idea from!! I think that men and women have equal roles in the relationship (with some exceptions!)!
"If he shows over whelming love then he is taken for granted, he is hurt, his reason for this love questioned and poor thing doesn't know to cry." - Dipu
And women are not taken for granted? Women have certain emotional needs that they expect men to fulfill. And it is when they are not met, you see those outbursts!! As you know, men and women ARE engineered quite differently. So expecting a female to be like a man is just impossible!!
And why can't men cry? I think they should, if they feel like it!!
I did not mean to say that you made it up... But it is certainly blown out of proportion to the point where you used very derogatory nomenclature. Now if this is an explanation for an atrocious outcry you made against all guys (except your dad of course), I have to tell you to reach out.
Based on a few examples in life, you cannot blame an entire class... I know a lot of guys who have been reduced to ashes because of their guile.. Now if I have to blame you for that, it will be the most ridiculous thing I could ever do. i understand that you have a delicate stimulus but you should not generalize.
How can you not be a feminist after writing a blog like this. It is like Hitler telling that he is not a Nazi.
Oh!And about bad mouthing about people they claim they love, trust me it happens between both the sexes. It is just fortunate bliss that you have that you never encountered such people.
Women don't cheat? is that what you are trying to say? but that doesn't mean every women in the world cheats!
We can go on Ad Nauseum but I might give an impression that I am chauvinist and being defensive! i am sorry folks but if somebody were to write like this about women, I would retaliate too.
When someone makes a mistake, name him, put him in the gallows and not the the entire men population.
From what you have written it is making me think if people who think like this are engineering defect or an engineering misfit rather than made from a different production assembly!
About reading it again, it is definitely not an eye opener. reading it again will only heighten my understanding the element of hatred based on sexes.
The word feminist or a chauvinist is an understatement, it should have the same impact as a racist and people displaying such elements of hatred will and should be punished by the law below and above!
Anyways... You did not re-comment on the most important part of my comment.The part "But in doing this you are only increasing the credibility of Men. you are showing to the world how important he is to you. ". Just comment on this and we will take on from there
I do not think that it was blown out of proportion because I believe I can justify my feelings. I was hurt. I could relate to the person. And betrayal is not something nice. This is a blog. This is a place where I vent my feelings. I can't always think about the structure of the argument when writing it. By the time I think sane again, I might not want to post it. For a person who has not been emotionally drained, my feelings may be difficult to grasp.
I don't know if you have noticed, but my target was just particular person. I made it quite clear. Yes, I did make some generalizations. A person who knows me knows very well that I am not some cynical or bitter being who succumbs to some depressing feelings...blaming others for everything that goes wrong in my life..and that I'm not a sexist..nor am I a feminist. I had an emotional outburst because of some atrocious happenings in my life. Everyone has those moments in his or her life and one should not be judged based on SOLELY THAT. Trust me, I am not an extremist of any kind!!
Bad mouthing is an understatement!! They guy told all his friends that the girl is sleeping with him and that she is urging him to have intercourse. Who the hell DOES THAT?!?!?!?!?! He lied..he DEMEANED her!!!!!!!! That is not acceptable!!!
And I can't start naming all the men that has done something similar to that to me or my friends...there will be a LONG LIST!!!! And my intention was not to single anyone out and bash them. I had to vent. And I damn well did.
When a person (and I'm talking about normal folks here!!) is angry, he or she tend to be blind to certain things. That person may lose her/himself in his/her actions. He/She doesn't think twice about what he/she says. And that's why it's been said to wait five seconds to speak when one is angry! I didn't even waste a millisecond!! I wrote what I was thinking and I have the right to do that. Everyone goes through that kind of phase. Some may say it; some don't! Whatever that I felt was quite ephemeral. It did not last long. I have no ill feeling or hate toward anyone.
Look, for a person who has gone through enough crap in life..I am a happy person. I have not turned into a psychopath, sociopath, or a mass murderer. So, mind you...I have no such defect as you talk of!!!
If I have a hatred toward males, I wouldn't even associate with them!!!! I love the men in my life. Period!!
I thought I already answered that part of your comment. I was not talking about any man in my life. I was not talking about something that happened to me. At least not recently. This unfortunate thing happened to my friend..and I empathize.
Now we have come down from MEN to a MAN. This is quite a good start.. Well almost.
Your blog post,your reply to comments are often self contradicting including your 5&6 which indicates that the entire post is committed to men.
It is most unfortunate that your friend had to undergo all this and if I had it my way, he would be guilty of breach of trust.
Understand that it is mostly men who judge and punish men who are guilty of crime against women, moral or physical or both.
The display of hatred targeted to the community of men was my contention of course. Even though I could believe that it was indeed targeted to one person, this is definitely not the idea the readers would have.
I am sure this would be indicated by defensive posts contributed by many a good readers.
There is fundamental difference between blogs and diaries and even though you are free to give your opinion, you should understand that this is read by many people who could be sensitive to a lot of things.
Why did Iran impose fatwa on Salman Rusdie, why did I get irritated when he wrote 'The Moors last Sigh' and named the chief characters dog as Jawaharlal Nehru. Just 'coz he can write doesn't mean that he has the eternal right to write what he feels... I think he should be considerate about the fellow readers.
I did not accuse you of being a psychopath or a homicide... but what you wrote can be definitely considered as a basis for instilling hatred. Something which many consider is a grave moral crime and is punishable by the law above and below. All it takes is a good citizen to file a public litigation against you based on the post and there is a high possibility that you would be punished by a minimum of forced public community service, a criminal record that if allowed to be removed will take a minimum 7 years to be out of your public records but not necessarily!!
I appreciate your empathy, I really do but this is definitely not the way one should vent. The need to vent should not come out of a controversial post. Read you post again and tell me if what I am telling you is not substantial enough.
But to answer you questions
When does a boy turn into a man: approximately 2-3 years after his fellow girl becomes a woman
To show you a real man... I am afraid, he is human after all and to see a flawless man, you should time travel about 2000 years back.
I cannot answer rest of your questions mostly they are derogatory and coated with scum.
I had one particular guy in mind when I wrote this. But then I thought about all those men that I've (and my friends have) come across who have done us wrong. So, in a sense...not only was I fuming at this guy (he was the main target)..but I also included the frustration from my (and others') past experiences here too! Height of frustration, you see!!
My blogs are not read by many. There are less than 10 people who visit my blog. They have been reading my blog for quite a while now and they PERFECTLY know what kind of person I am. Tomorrow, they may see a post that is satirical, compassionate, sarcastic, stupid, etc. In case you did not know, I am capable of more than just anger!!
I have my right to express my feelings. I ask you again to take it as an ephemeral outburst of feelings that led me to say certain things. I believe that you are taking this more seriously than you should.
My blog is very private. My audience is NOT Salman Rushdie's audience. I was writing on a rush of anger. He wrote that because he "genuinely" feels that way! I don't hate men. I don't think that ALL men are jackasses. I haven't lost hope in men. I don't really have other sources to vent. So I vent in here!! I should NOT be judged based on a blog post!!! You will often hear people say 'UGH! I hate my work'! Do they really? Most people probably don't! They were just venting their frustration on an incident that just got to them.
You should note that I did not say that I hate men. I was questioning the shady acts of many men that we have come across.
Bill of Rights will protect me if a 'good citizen' is going to go out of his merry little away and file some litigation. 'Freedom of speech'!! But I do appreciate the warning. May be you can warn me in the future as well...JUST so I can make sure that I am going in the right path!!!
You can't tell me how to vent. I vent the way that I please!!!!!!!!!! I think that you and I reading my post very differently! I am reading it as just an outburst of ephemeral anger. You are reading it as something else!!
I never asked to see a flawless man. In the end of my post, I did say...that I don't expect people to be perfect!!
how come the people who commented read in the same page as I did.?
No one has the right to tell you anything... leave alone venting.. But they do have the right to oppose the allegations that was written. In that sense you have no right to write about men like this... In essence you have no right to vent (in the context write about men) like this...
Even though you have continuously now self contradicting on your comment, I am and will only refer to your original posting which I am sorry to tell you blatantly defaces men.
Why do you think I am taking this more seriously than i should.. When you are reacting for injustice to one friend, why shouldn't I react to an entire mass of the majority of terrestrial species! Or should I just say that I am venting my frustration in your comment page.
The bill of rights will not protect you from spreading hatred girl.. Just 'coz you have rights doesn't mean you could go around and tell people that this particular race is bull shit. They are mean, they are preposterous. That again is another topic.
Salman Rushdie never put a gun on anyone's head and asked them to read it and as a matter of fact, one has to pay good money to read the book of a booker. But the his writing is disturbing and the world told him to refrain from writing like this.
Like I told you we could go ad nauseam over this but the point is made not only by me but also by other readers. Admit it! why is to so difficult to tell that it is a MISTAKE that you wrote like this in a fit of anger. Your reply to comments only fits what we say. But again you are tring to justify your blog!
After this I rest my case
look man..I repeated over and over why I wrote what I wrote!
If you decide to ignore what I said..I can't help you there!!
You read what you want to read and I am honestly sick and tired of justifying and defending my case!
Again: *SIGH*
1. And I did NOT contradict myself!!!
2. I did not spread hatred!
I can express my feelings and the Bill of Rights surely do protect me!
UGH!!!!
Just coz you sound exasperated doesn't set things right.
You badmouthed like crazy and then you replied to one of the comment that only your father was the only man you met. Then to me you explained it was only meant for one guy. (One guy = Man and not equal to ALL MEN)
Make up your mind and repost your blog entry.
you did
1) bad mouth and generalize
2) Propagate hatred by proclaiming how bad all men are!
3) And more...
I am a man and it offends me for myself and my fellowship to witness such an insult.
Try to empathize that!
I said that it was mainly targeted at one guy..but I also included the frustration from other bitter experiences as well!!
I sound exasperated because you fail to see my point! My generalization may have been a bit out there...but at that specific point in time..that's EXACTLY how I felt!!
I apologize if this offended you!!!
*Case Dismissed*
Ohhhh...young lady...try to take life easy becoz there's still a lot of hard things to face in the world....it's ok..u will be fine after sometime when u will realise that sometimes letting go is the key to peace and happiness...that getting assertion of being loved is not the sole life giving medicine....when u have big dreams for life then failures should not make u lose ur temper! -with love
p.s. got to remove the first one since there were few typos!
@ ela
It was totally a product of utter frustration of seeing my friend's tears! Well..even though it is not all over now..it is getting better.
:D There's a light at the end of the tunnel..yeah? :D
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