The Perfect Timing

After staring at the computer screen for what it seems like hours, I decided to go downstairs to give my eyes some rest. Plus, I was so tempted to see what boring movie was playing on Asianet. Oh yeah, I was nosy about what my parents were doing (ie., if they were eating something scrumptious). I went downstairs limping (because I wore high heels on Thursday - don't ask me why); I may have exaggerated a bit because hey, I'm an attention seeker. When I realized that my parents didn't really notice my limping, I decided to go to the living room and sit lavishly on the sofa. My father was ironing clothes and my mother was watching TV and talking to my father. Yes, my dad is absolutely awesome. He doesn't mind doing chores in the house; he even cooks!!!

Great! Everything was going great, right? I should have gone upstairs within few seconds. No. I didn't. My lazy brain and legs decided to glue me to the darn sofa. Then it was conversation time between my parents. Since my dad was ironing clothes, naturally..a topic about clothes was started. I should have gone upstairs since I knew that I could contribute nothing to the conversation. Yeah well, it didn't happen. Involuntarily, I was dragged into the conversation.

My dad: I am not buying any more clothes for a long time. Well, at least not until your wedding. Yeah, the next time I'm getting clothes is going to be around the time of your wedding.
My mom: Did you hear that? Appa is not going to buy any more clothes until you get married. So get married soon.
Me: Ah. Great then. Appa will be wearing raggedy clothes for a long time then.

I have been boasting to my dear friends about how my parents don't bring up the 'issue' of marriage to me and that they want me to concentrate on studying and all that nonsense. Well, there it goes. Demolished. I feel like a wet chicken who was left outside - cold and bitter.

I'm not against marriage. I want to get married. I want to have a family one day..ONE DAY. I think that marriage is a spiritual union of two people who vow to spend the rest of their marriage together in love, commitment, and trust. 100% of the married couple agree to that. 50% of them end up getting a divorce alarms me a tiny bit, though. I'm going to be realistic here; yes, it may so happen that I come off a bit pessimistic. But if you read through them, you will understand that I'm making valid points, hopefully.

Here's the scenario: My parents find me a guy because my dad is adamant about arranged marriages even though my mom had asked me if I have any feelings for any of my guy friends. Most likely, he'll be from India since they are not so fond of the guy who is from America. Every guy's dream is to end up in America. So, when my profile is in the market (which some of my family friends are competing over to do), I will get 100's (I'm not boasting, I guarantee that they won't look at ANYTHING ELSE if they see that I'm from 'America') of proposals. Of course, they expect me to LIKE someone from a picture. Apparently I'm supposed to be a psychic and know everything about a guy from a corny picture. I guess that if I 'like' this dude, two families unofficially have a contract. If I'm allowed to talk to a guy after I 'like him', within 2 months we will be 'engaged'. The day after the engagement will be the wedding and I'll officially be a 'married woman' (*Shudder*).

He comes to America after a few months. Of course, every guy in India has a pre-conceived notion about girls in America. And no, it can't be changed. We, malayalees, refuse to change our beliefs and mindsets even though they are ridiculous and WRONG. He comes to America and is mesmerized by what the country offers so liberally (bars, strip clubs, parties, 'available' hot women, dollar, computer, homosexuals, and definitely not the least, porn). Within a few months, he will do everything that forces me to think that he is a psychopath. Of course I would have to stay in the 'marriage' because I have to think of my family. If I leave, my family will be embarrasseed because it is ALWAYS the girl's fault.

When the abuses become unbearable, I leave. He goes on to live his life merrily because he is in America and there's this vast world in front of him. I, on the other hand, will have to face my parents, the society, my family....and have an explanation for what had happened.

I know for a fact that I will not bring infidelity on to the table. What's the guarantee that my husband won't? Is marriage synonymous to 'taking a risk'? Is that what it has come down to?

Let's concentrate on me now. I can be extremely unbearable at times. I have occassional mood swings which might lead you to hate me. I over analyze at times. My stubborness and adamance about my views and beliefs can be annoying. I can be over dramatic. I can be petulant. 'That' person must be quite patient with me and I have a feeling that such person might not exist.

Well..ask me in 25 years.