1) Last movie you saw in a theatre?
Oh man. I can't remember the last time that I'd watched a movie on TV. I think that the movie that I'd watched on theater was Enchanted.
2) What book are you reading?
I'm reading many (because I'm forced to); but nothing that is fun. I shall start on my leisure reading in exactly a week.
3) Favorite board game?
None.
4) Favorite magazine?
I don't read magazines.
5) Favorite smells?
Don't have an affinity toward a particular smell. Well..ACTUALLY..now that I think about it... I believe I'm quite fond of the 'AXE' deodorant. ;)... mesmerizing!! ;)
6) Favorite thing to do in weekend?
I would LOVE to walk around aimlessly and spend my entire day at the theaters. But yeah.. never happens.
7) Worst feeling in the world?
Helplessness.
8)What is the first thing you think of when u wakeup?
I pray/wish that no one called when I was sleeping. I have this habit of picking up the calls and rambling when people call in the middle of the night. The next day, I'm told that I said some gruesome things. Hey...you took the risk!!
9) Favorite fast food place?
Burger King (Yeah...I know...but I love their whopper), Wendy's, SUBWAY (is that even considered FAST FOOD?)!!!
10) Future child’s name?
Haven't thought much into the future. Emm...Joshua is a nice name!
11) Finish this statement --- 'If I had a lot of money'
I wouldn't know what to do with it.
12) Do you drive fast?
:D Faster than any other girl that you know.
13) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
My stuffed animals have been abducted.
14) Storms -- Cool or Scary?
Scrool. Nah. It's cool. I love the feeling that I get when it gets dark and gloomy.
15) What was your first car?
Toyota Corolla
16) Favorite drink?
Water - really..that's all I drink.
17) Finish this statement --- If i had the time i would
....sleep!
18) Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
YES I do!
19) If you could dye your hair any other color, what would be your choice?
Auburn with dark brown highlights (However that looks!!)
20) Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in?
(These are the places that I've stayed for more than one night :D)
1. Pathanapuram, Kerala, India
2. Dubai, Dubai
3. Dallas, Texas, United States
4. Atlanta, Georgia, United States
5. Udagamandalam, Tamil Nadu, India
21) Favorite sports to watch?
Cricket
22) One information about the person who sent this to you?
I don't know why..but random people think that we are similar! :D
23) What’s under your bed?
Nothing..probably random books or papers!
24) Would you like to be born as yourself again?
I wouldn't mind. I like me. I LOVE me.
25) Morning person or night owl?
Varies..depending on the day and the mood.
26) Over easy or sunny side up?
Have no preference when it comes to food.
27) Favorite place to relax?
Emmm....my living room?
28) Favorite pie?
Emm....apple, may be!
29) Favorite ice cream flavor?
Oh please don't ask me to pick!!
30) Of all the people you have tagged, who is the most likely to respond first?
I'm not tagging anyone!! :D
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Me - the anomaly
Ever since they can think straight, almost every girl starts fantasizing about her future: her husband (prince), her children (about 10-20 of them), her house (a castle), and so on. Once she reaches puberty, the expectations on the husband will skyrocket, the number of children that she wants will decrease, and the expectation on the house stays the same. Once she is past her teenage years, at one point or another, she will realize that there is no prince, there is no perfect guy, or that she is doomed to be alone. Still the thought of having a family is there. She has dreams about the perfect family which she wishes and hopes to have one day. No matter how much she seems to be bitter and devastated, she never gives up her dream. There's always that hope. There's always that 'spark'! I read this in a book: 'Whenever a guy sees a girl, he is thinking about a potential sex partner. Whenever a girl sees a guy, she is thinking about a potential husband." I think that it is true for the most part.
Growing up, I didn't have many girl friends. I started having tuition classes when I was in Upper KinderGarten. My tuition class consisted of me, and three other boys. We used to go to the class (which was taught by a neighbor) every day after school. I think we even had classes on weekends. Regardless, I grew up with these guys. As we got older, these guys became my brother's friends as well. There were no girls my age in the vicinity of my house. I remember having one doll when I was around a year old, I think that my mom gave it to a beggar when I was 3 or something. I wasn't a demanding child, so my parents were happy as long as I was happy (playing with bricks and stone and mud and sticks).
My mom left for Saudi for 5 years when I was about 5. My dad practically raised us by himself until I was 11. During those years, all I concentrated on was studies. I did not have much of a life outside of school. I don't think that I had many complaints about that as well. I was too naive to construct any fantasy world about my future. I don't remember being attracted to any guys when I was in India. I remember noticing a couple, though. They had this aura around them which was so mystifying yet so attractive. Oh yeah, I think this is a good time to say that what I find attractive doesn't necessarily complement with another female's idea of 'attractiveness'! Oh yeah, I never spoke to these guys...but I had often found them peeking at me (in the bus stop, in church - another incentive to go to school and church, eh). I still didn't have recurring dreams about a prince in shining armor or a 'happily ever after' theme!
After I came to America, after being exposed to anything and everything that you can possibly imagine..you would think that I'd have a 'dream' or a 'fantasy' about a future. I don't. It surprises me that I'm quite apathetic about something that most girls have figured out when they were 4 years old. Yes, I do have expectations about a guy that I end up with. But I have never thought (expected) much about the 'family' deal even though I do like to have a family one day. I haven't thought about how many children I want. I haven't thought about where I want to live. Heck, I haven't given my wedding day much of a thought.
I wonder if it's an anomaly to not give my future much of a thought. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. That's my train of thought about anything and everything that has to do with the future. I don't think that you will find another soul who is so confused as I am. If you ask me why I'm doing what I'm doing, I'll just give you a blank look and respond 'I have no idea!' Is this just a phase?
I strongly feel that I like being (and want to be) alone. Is it because the right guy hasn't showed up yet? :D Benefit of doubt...eh!!!
Growing up, I didn't have many girl friends. I started having tuition classes when I was in Upper KinderGarten. My tuition class consisted of me, and three other boys. We used to go to the class (which was taught by a neighbor) every day after school. I think we even had classes on weekends. Regardless, I grew up with these guys. As we got older, these guys became my brother's friends as well. There were no girls my age in the vicinity of my house. I remember having one doll when I was around a year old, I think that my mom gave it to a beggar when I was 3 or something. I wasn't a demanding child, so my parents were happy as long as I was happy (playing with bricks and stone and mud and sticks).
My mom left for Saudi for 5 years when I was about 5. My dad practically raised us by himself until I was 11. During those years, all I concentrated on was studies. I did not have much of a life outside of school. I don't think that I had many complaints about that as well. I was too naive to construct any fantasy world about my future. I don't remember being attracted to any guys when I was in India. I remember noticing a couple, though. They had this aura around them which was so mystifying yet so attractive. Oh yeah, I think this is a good time to say that what I find attractive doesn't necessarily complement with another female's idea of 'attractiveness'! Oh yeah, I never spoke to these guys...but I had often found them peeking at me (in the bus stop, in church - another incentive to go to school and church, eh). I still didn't have recurring dreams about a prince in shining armor or a 'happily ever after' theme!
After I came to America, after being exposed to anything and everything that you can possibly imagine..you would think that I'd have a 'dream' or a 'fantasy' about a future. I don't. It surprises me that I'm quite apathetic about something that most girls have figured out when they were 4 years old. Yes, I do have expectations about a guy that I end up with. But I have never thought (expected) much about the 'family' deal even though I do like to have a family one day. I haven't thought about how many children I want. I haven't thought about where I want to live. Heck, I haven't given my wedding day much of a thought.
I wonder if it's an anomaly to not give my future much of a thought. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. That's my train of thought about anything and everything that has to do with the future. I don't think that you will find another soul who is so confused as I am. If you ask me why I'm doing what I'm doing, I'll just give you a blank look and respond 'I have no idea!' Is this just a phase?
I strongly feel that I like being (and want to be) alone. Is it because the right guy hasn't showed up yet? :D Benefit of doubt...eh!!!
Monday, April 21, 2008
And then there was light.................
It all started around 10.30 am as I was semi paying attention in class and semi studying for an exam that was to start in an hour. The teacher puts a problem on the board, looks at me, and calls me by my name and asked me for the answer. HE CALLED ME BY MY NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My teacher knows my name!!!!! Ok, I'm not surprised that he asked me for the answer. I was surprised that he actually knew my name. He doesn't call ANYONE ELSE by their name and it is the first time in 4 months that he has called anyone by name and it was me. He kept on looking at me every time he asked a question. This is what you get if you stop by a teacher's office whenever you like and ask him questions and sit around and chat!! *Shudder* May be I can get a recommendation from him!!
I studied for the exam as much as I could (I should add that I did slack off and procrastinate and could have done better). I was confident about some of the answers. There were definitely some that made me sit back, fold my arms, and stare at space for a few minutes. I just want to get a B on that test and I might just be in heaven!! As I was walking out, the teacher smiles and asks, 'the test was easy for you, eh?' I was like, ' oh yeah'! It would have been definitely easy if I had realized my damn priorities!
With a heavy mind, I got in to the car. I was definitely disappointed at myself. As an attempt to cheer myself up, I rolled the windows down and played this Indian song with wicked beats! The next thing I know is that this guy (driver) who was in the car infront of me, put his hand up and raised his index finger. Then he bobbed his head. THEN he adjusted his rearview mirror to look at me. I couldn't stop laughing!! He was definitely Indian. His license plate had the logo of my school as well. We both turned into the highway and he recklessly got infront of a truck and sped off. After a minute or so, he got into the slow lane. Scared that I might follow him (At times, I can't control my curiosity), I got into the right most lane to get into the freeway. I kept on laughing and wondering to myself who he could be. Wonder why he did what he did. Hey, at least he didn't show me the middle finger. Anyway, I thank the dude from the bottom of my heart for making my day! May God bless him abundantly.
I got home and decided to check out what was on tv. It was some boring movie. Anyhow, I went to my room. I unhooked the button of my jeans. The jeans zipper WAS OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know when that happened. I don't know how that happened!!!!!! May be I just forgot to zip after I used the bathroom right before the exam. I cannot believe that I walked around downtown and the train station and in the train with the damn zipper OPEN!!! Thank God that I get over stuff pretty easy.
I wonder if my day could get any worse! Well, it's me that were talking about..anything is possible. What's next? Someone calls me and tells me that he loves me and that he wants to marry me? Trust me..if that happens today, I really wouldn't be taken back. All kind of odd things are happening. Yeah, hell is freezing over!!!
I studied for the exam as much as I could (I should add that I did slack off and procrastinate and could have done better). I was confident about some of the answers. There were definitely some that made me sit back, fold my arms, and stare at space for a few minutes. I just want to get a B on that test and I might just be in heaven!! As I was walking out, the teacher smiles and asks, 'the test was easy for you, eh?' I was like, ' oh yeah'! It would have been definitely easy if I had realized my damn priorities!
With a heavy mind, I got in to the car. I was definitely disappointed at myself. As an attempt to cheer myself up, I rolled the windows down and played this Indian song with wicked beats! The next thing I know is that this guy (driver) who was in the car infront of me, put his hand up and raised his index finger. Then he bobbed his head. THEN he adjusted his rearview mirror to look at me. I couldn't stop laughing!! He was definitely Indian. His license plate had the logo of my school as well. We both turned into the highway and he recklessly got infront of a truck and sped off. After a minute or so, he got into the slow lane. Scared that I might follow him (At times, I can't control my curiosity), I got into the right most lane to get into the freeway. I kept on laughing and wondering to myself who he could be. Wonder why he did what he did. Hey, at least he didn't show me the middle finger. Anyway, I thank the dude from the bottom of my heart for making my day! May God bless him abundantly.
I got home and decided to check out what was on tv. It was some boring movie. Anyhow, I went to my room. I unhooked the button of my jeans. The jeans zipper WAS OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know when that happened. I don't know how that happened!!!!!! May be I just forgot to zip after I used the bathroom right before the exam. I cannot believe that I walked around downtown and the train station and in the train with the damn zipper OPEN!!! Thank God that I get over stuff pretty easy.
I wonder if my day could get any worse! Well, it's me that were talking about..anything is possible. What's next? Someone calls me and tells me that he loves me and that he wants to marry me? Trust me..if that happens today, I really wouldn't be taken back. All kind of odd things are happening. Yeah, hell is freezing over!!!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
My Country vs. My Country
*The intention of this post is not to degrade India or the United States of America. These are purely my personal opinions and have developed through my experiences. Opinions are like a$$h@le$, everyone has them.*
Which country do you like better: India or America?
I've been asked this particular question a plethora of times that I feel like I should carry around a notecard explaining my stand to present it to the enquirer. To tell you the truth, I can't pick one country over the other. Both country has its pros and cons. I have a special inclination toward India because I was born there and it's my mother country. I have a special inclination toward America because it molded me into the being that I am today. I will try to list the cons and pros of each countries...but I'll never be able to pick one over the other! Both are equally bad! Well..may be I should say that both are equally good! :D
India (pros)
The rich culture, morals, and values that India stand for is mindblowing. It is a beautiful country filled with beautiful people. I doubt that the sense of family and togetherness can be seen anywhere else. The people are extremely intelligent and educated as well. You can see the entire world in India alone. The history and the past of India is unique and it is what makes the country so beautiful. Your neighbors and more or less like your family. We are very social beings who help each other out during troubled times. The authentic food is beyond delicious. Indians are extremely hospitable. It is where family is. It is where friends are. It is where my roots are. It is where I can find myself.
America (pros)
Obviously, it is the land of opportunities. I learned so much about so many things after coming to America. I was able to get a new perspective (may be became a bit liberal, which is very different from the right conservative views in India) after coming here. You can be anything that you want to be at any age. You are taught to be independent and responsible at a very young age. You are encouraged to be yourself and be proud of it too. You are presented with anything and everything...and if you use those resources well, you can succeed beyond your imagniation. If you want to get something done, you can have it done in the shortest time possible. If you are a citizen, you can enter certain countries without a visa.
India (cons)
It goes without saying that India's political infrastructure may be one of the most corrupted in the world. Politicians don't give a damn about the people. People can't rely on the authorities. The riots between political parties is so unbearable that I am forced to think of murdering some politicians. It takes forever to get something done. You have to bribe everyone from the peon to the head of the management to get a paperwork done. The administrators who are supposed to work for the people, spend the people's money for their own benefit..hence, the people end up getting screwed over and continue to live in the most pathetic of lifestyle. It's heart breaking to watch the riots between people of different religious beliefs. The climate is unbearable.
America (cons)
The fact that everything is available to everyone without much restriction is definitely a drawback. Family, relationships, togetherness, etc. are not given much importance. It is a very individualistic society. You can get very caught up in the fast paced life that you might tend to forget about family commitments - there seems to be no time to do much of leisurely activities espeically if you have a family. What you make here, you spend here! Americans (in some 'conservative' areas) have become xenophobic. You have a long lasting relationship with your mortgage and credit card companies.
Every country has its pros and cons. That doesn't mean that one is better than the other. Evaluating a country is purely subjective and it varies from one individual to another. I love India. I love America. Don't ask me which one I like the best. Don't ask me which one I prefer. Don't ask me to choose. I can't and I won't!
Random: My dream is to go back to India one day and establish a setting to help the needy (something in the medical field - may be build a hospital or something). I actually want to travel the world! I wonder if the latter will ever come true!! *Sigh*
Which country do you like better: India or America?
I've been asked this particular question a plethora of times that I feel like I should carry around a notecard explaining my stand to present it to the enquirer. To tell you the truth, I can't pick one country over the other. Both country has its pros and cons. I have a special inclination toward India because I was born there and it's my mother country. I have a special inclination toward America because it molded me into the being that I am today. I will try to list the cons and pros of each countries...but I'll never be able to pick one over the other! Both are equally bad! Well..may be I should say that both are equally good! :D
India (pros)
The rich culture, morals, and values that India stand for is mindblowing. It is a beautiful country filled with beautiful people. I doubt that the sense of family and togetherness can be seen anywhere else. The people are extremely intelligent and educated as well. You can see the entire world in India alone. The history and the past of India is unique and it is what makes the country so beautiful. Your neighbors and more or less like your family. We are very social beings who help each other out during troubled times. The authentic food is beyond delicious. Indians are extremely hospitable. It is where family is. It is where friends are. It is where my roots are. It is where I can find myself.
America (pros)
Obviously, it is the land of opportunities. I learned so much about so many things after coming to America. I was able to get a new perspective (may be became a bit liberal, which is very different from the right conservative views in India) after coming here. You can be anything that you want to be at any age. You are taught to be independent and responsible at a very young age. You are encouraged to be yourself and be proud of it too. You are presented with anything and everything...and if you use those resources well, you can succeed beyond your imagniation. If you want to get something done, you can have it done in the shortest time possible. If you are a citizen, you can enter certain countries without a visa.
India (cons)
It goes without saying that India's political infrastructure may be one of the most corrupted in the world. Politicians don't give a damn about the people. People can't rely on the authorities. The riots between political parties is so unbearable that I am forced to think of murdering some politicians. It takes forever to get something done. You have to bribe everyone from the peon to the head of the management to get a paperwork done. The administrators who are supposed to work for the people, spend the people's money for their own benefit..hence, the people end up getting screwed over and continue to live in the most pathetic of lifestyle. It's heart breaking to watch the riots between people of different religious beliefs. The climate is unbearable.
America (cons)
The fact that everything is available to everyone without much restriction is definitely a drawback. Family, relationships, togetherness, etc. are not given much importance. It is a very individualistic society. You can get very caught up in the fast paced life that you might tend to forget about family commitments - there seems to be no time to do much of leisurely activities espeically if you have a family. What you make here, you spend here! Americans (in some 'conservative' areas) have become xenophobic. You have a long lasting relationship with your mortgage and credit card companies.
Every country has its pros and cons. That doesn't mean that one is better than the other. Evaluating a country is purely subjective and it varies from one individual to another. I love India. I love America. Don't ask me which one I like the best. Don't ask me which one I prefer. Don't ask me to choose. I can't and I won't!
Random: My dream is to go back to India one day and establish a setting to help the needy (something in the medical field - may be build a hospital or something). I actually want to travel the world! I wonder if the latter will ever come true!! *Sigh*
Friday, April 18, 2008
The people that add flavor to my life..
Usually, I have issues with admitting my feelings. But today, I am not holding it back. I must announce to the entire world that I have the best friends in the entire universe and I love them to death. They have helped me so much during the past four months. They've been so understanding and patient with me.
Shakespeare nailed it: (From Sonnett 30)
But if I think of you while I am in this state of sadness, dear friend,.
All my losses are compensated for and my sorrow ends.
In the past few days, I realized how much my friends mean to me. I want to share how amazing they are...because...they just are!! :D They have inspired and motivated me so much. They have more faith in me than I have in myself.
A.M. - The one who is extremely patient with me. He is one guy who makes himself available whenever I 'want' and 'need' him to. I feel extremely comfortable around him. Someone to go to when you want to have a sensible and long conversation. I can call him at any odd hours and he probably won't pick up. He'll call back and I'll make him feel guilty. The apologies that I get from is infinite! He's so genuine! He's an absolute gentleman with hazel eyes. He's never gotten annoyed at me even though I've given him more than enough reasons to do so. He's the only friend that I tend to be too stubborn around, but he has always kept his cool.........so far.
A.C. - The only person on earth who thinks exactly like me, who acts exactly like me, and even talks like me. I've known her for almost 5 years and our relationship is stronger as days go by. I can be a complete idiot around her and she probably will do the same. We check out this particular guy every tuesdays and thursdays and we are definitely not discreet. I think he's getting scared of us. It scares me at times to see how similar we are.
C.L-N. - My Vietnamese sister. She and I can relate to each other regardless of our differences in views. She has so much faith in me and is the perfect source of motivation and inspiration. One of the most hardworking people that I know and smart too.
D.G. - Someone that I can't delineate in a few words. A guy that deviates from the stereotypical guy image. Someone who's a philanthropist who is always ready to help. He's one guy that I can't figure out. He has an integral role in my sanity. He has influenced me in a plethora of ways that I dedicate all my optimism to him and him alone. I respect him so much that I can't even call him by his name.
S.J. - A friend who is not like an elder brother, but IS an elder brother. The one who watches out for me. The one who is more than willing to beat someone up for me. The one who is always there for me when I'm in need. The one who respects my opinions and tolerates me.
S.T- A friend who advises like a mother. A friend who loves me like a sister. A friend who scolds me like a brother. A friend who cheers me up like A FRIEND. She's all-in-one. A sensible human being who is very intelligent who gives me a new perspective on every issue that I bring on to the table. An individual who's been there for me selflessly.
Every single one of them is unique in his or her own way. They all have one thing in common, they are all my friends. None of them know each other (except S.T. and S.J. - they communicate via orkut). I like it that way as well. Having mutual friends can cause dramas and melodramas. Haha. Me and my weird 'mis'conceptions.
I love my friends. They are an asset to my wonderful life. I'm extremely thankful for them.
Shakespeare nailed it: (From Sonnett 30)
But if I think of you while I am in this state of sadness, dear friend,.
All my losses are compensated for and my sorrow ends.
In the past few days, I realized how much my friends mean to me. I want to share how amazing they are...because...they just are!! :D They have inspired and motivated me so much. They have more faith in me than I have in myself.
A.M. - The one who is extremely patient with me. He is one guy who makes himself available whenever I 'want' and 'need' him to. I feel extremely comfortable around him. Someone to go to when you want to have a sensible and long conversation. I can call him at any odd hours and he probably won't pick up. He'll call back and I'll make him feel guilty. The apologies that I get from is infinite! He's so genuine! He's an absolute gentleman with hazel eyes. He's never gotten annoyed at me even though I've given him more than enough reasons to do so. He's the only friend that I tend to be too stubborn around, but he has always kept his cool.........so far.
A.C. - The only person on earth who thinks exactly like me, who acts exactly like me, and even talks like me. I've known her for almost 5 years and our relationship is stronger as days go by. I can be a complete idiot around her and she probably will do the same. We check out this particular guy every tuesdays and thursdays and we are definitely not discreet. I think he's getting scared of us. It scares me at times to see how similar we are.
C.L-N. - My Vietnamese sister. She and I can relate to each other regardless of our differences in views. She has so much faith in me and is the perfect source of motivation and inspiration. One of the most hardworking people that I know and smart too.
D.G. - Someone that I can't delineate in a few words. A guy that deviates from the stereotypical guy image. Someone who's a philanthropist who is always ready to help. He's one guy that I can't figure out. He has an integral role in my sanity. He has influenced me in a plethora of ways that I dedicate all my optimism to him and him alone. I respect him so much that I can't even call him by his name.
S.J. - A friend who is not like an elder brother, but IS an elder brother. The one who watches out for me. The one who is more than willing to beat someone up for me. The one who is always there for me when I'm in need. The one who respects my opinions and tolerates me.
S.T- A friend who advises like a mother. A friend who loves me like a sister. A friend who scolds me like a brother. A friend who cheers me up like A FRIEND. She's all-in-one. A sensible human being who is very intelligent who gives me a new perspective on every issue that I bring on to the table. An individual who's been there for me selflessly.
Every single one of them is unique in his or her own way. They all have one thing in common, they are all my friends. None of them know each other (except S.T. and S.J. - they communicate via orkut). I like it that way as well. Having mutual friends can cause dramas and melodramas. Haha. Me and my weird 'mis'conceptions.
I love my friends. They are an asset to my wonderful life. I'm extremely thankful for them.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Perfect Timing
After staring at the computer screen for what it seems like hours, I decided to go downstairs to give my eyes some rest. Plus, I was so tempted to see what boring movie was playing on Asianet. Oh yeah, I was nosy about what my parents were doing (ie., if they were eating something scrumptious). I went downstairs limping (because I wore high heels on Thursday - don't ask me why); I may have exaggerated a bit because hey, I'm an attention seeker. When I realized that my parents didn't really notice my limping, I decided to go to the living room and sit lavishly on the sofa. My father was ironing clothes and my mother was watching TV and talking to my father. Yes, my dad is absolutely awesome. He doesn't mind doing chores in the house; he even cooks!!!
Great! Everything was going great, right? I should have gone upstairs within few seconds. No. I didn't. My lazy brain and legs decided to glue me to the darn sofa. Then it was conversation time between my parents. Since my dad was ironing clothes, naturally..a topic about clothes was started. I should have gone upstairs since I knew that I could contribute nothing to the conversation. Yeah well, it didn't happen. Involuntarily, I was dragged into the conversation.
My dad: I am not buying any more clothes for a long time. Well, at least not until your wedding. Yeah, the next time I'm getting clothes is going to be around the time of your wedding.
My mom: Did you hear that? Appa is not going to buy any more clothes until you get married. So get married soon.
Me: Ah. Great then. Appa will be wearing raggedy clothes for a long time then.
I have been boasting to my dear friends about how my parents don't bring up the 'issue' of marriage to me and that they want me to concentrate on studying and all that nonsense. Well, there it goes. Demolished. I feel like a wet chicken who was left outside - cold and bitter.
I'm not against marriage. I want to get married. I want to have a family one day..ONE DAY. I think that marriage is a spiritual union of two people who vow to spend the rest of their marriage together in love, commitment, and trust. 100% of the married couple agree to that. 50% of them end up getting a divorce alarms me a tiny bit, though. I'm going to be realistic here; yes, it may so happen that I come off a bit pessimistic. But if you read through them, you will understand that I'm making valid points, hopefully.
Here's the scenario: My parents find me a guy because my dad is adamant about arranged marriages even though my mom had asked me if I have any feelings for any of my guy friends. Most likely, he'll be from India since they are not so fond of the guy who is from America. Every guy's dream is to end up in America. So, when my profile is in the market (which some of my family friends are competing over to do), I will get 100's (I'm not boasting, I guarantee that they won't look at ANYTHING ELSE if they see that I'm from 'America') of proposals. Of course, they expect me to LIKE someone from a picture. Apparently I'm supposed to be a psychic and know everything about a guy from a corny picture. I guess that if I 'like' this dude, two families unofficially have a contract. If I'm allowed to talk to a guy after I 'like him', within 2 months we will be 'engaged'. The day after the engagement will be the wedding and I'll officially be a 'married woman' (*Shudder*).
He comes to America after a few months. Of course, every guy in India has a pre-conceived notion about girls in America. And no, it can't be changed. We, malayalees, refuse to change our beliefs and mindsets even though they are ridiculous and WRONG. He comes to America and is mesmerized by what the country offers so liberally (bars, strip clubs, parties, 'available' hot women, dollar, computer, homosexuals, and definitely not the least, porn). Within a few months, he will do everything that forces me to think that he is a psychopath. Of course I would have to stay in the 'marriage' because I have to think of my family. If I leave, my family will be embarrasseed because it is ALWAYS the girl's fault.
When the abuses become unbearable, I leave. He goes on to live his life merrily because he is in America and there's this vast world in front of him. I, on the other hand, will have to face my parents, the society, my family....and have an explanation for what had happened.
I know for a fact that I will not bring infidelity on to the table. What's the guarantee that my husband won't? Is marriage synonymous to 'taking a risk'? Is that what it has come down to?
Let's concentrate on me now. I can be extremely unbearable at times. I have occassional mood swings which might lead you to hate me. I over analyze at times. My stubborness and adamance about my views and beliefs can be annoying. I can be over dramatic. I can be petulant. 'That' person must be quite patient with me and I have a feeling that such person might not exist.
Well..ask me in 25 years.
Great! Everything was going great, right? I should have gone upstairs within few seconds. No. I didn't. My lazy brain and legs decided to glue me to the darn sofa. Then it was conversation time between my parents. Since my dad was ironing clothes, naturally..a topic about clothes was started. I should have gone upstairs since I knew that I could contribute nothing to the conversation. Yeah well, it didn't happen. Involuntarily, I was dragged into the conversation.
My dad: I am not buying any more clothes for a long time. Well, at least not until your wedding. Yeah, the next time I'm getting clothes is going to be around the time of your wedding.
My mom: Did you hear that? Appa is not going to buy any more clothes until you get married. So get married soon.
Me: Ah. Great then. Appa will be wearing raggedy clothes for a long time then.
I have been boasting to my dear friends about how my parents don't bring up the 'issue' of marriage to me and that they want me to concentrate on studying and all that nonsense. Well, there it goes. Demolished. I feel like a wet chicken who was left outside - cold and bitter.
I'm not against marriage. I want to get married. I want to have a family one day..ONE DAY. I think that marriage is a spiritual union of two people who vow to spend the rest of their marriage together in love, commitment, and trust. 100% of the married couple agree to that. 50% of them end up getting a divorce alarms me a tiny bit, though. I'm going to be realistic here; yes, it may so happen that I come off a bit pessimistic. But if you read through them, you will understand that I'm making valid points, hopefully.
Here's the scenario: My parents find me a guy because my dad is adamant about arranged marriages even though my mom had asked me if I have any feelings for any of my guy friends. Most likely, he'll be from India since they are not so fond of the guy who is from America. Every guy's dream is to end up in America. So, when my profile is in the market (which some of my family friends are competing over to do), I will get 100's (I'm not boasting, I guarantee that they won't look at ANYTHING ELSE if they see that I'm from 'America') of proposals. Of course, they expect me to LIKE someone from a picture. Apparently I'm supposed to be a psychic and know everything about a guy from a corny picture. I guess that if I 'like' this dude, two families unofficially have a contract. If I'm allowed to talk to a guy after I 'like him', within 2 months we will be 'engaged'. The day after the engagement will be the wedding and I'll officially be a 'married woman' (*Shudder*).
He comes to America after a few months. Of course, every guy in India has a pre-conceived notion about girls in America. And no, it can't be changed. We, malayalees, refuse to change our beliefs and mindsets even though they are ridiculous and WRONG. He comes to America and is mesmerized by what the country offers so liberally (bars, strip clubs, parties, 'available' hot women, dollar, computer, homosexuals, and definitely not the least, porn). Within a few months, he will do everything that forces me to think that he is a psychopath. Of course I would have to stay in the 'marriage' because I have to think of my family. If I leave, my family will be embarrasseed because it is ALWAYS the girl's fault.
When the abuses become unbearable, I leave. He goes on to live his life merrily because he is in America and there's this vast world in front of him. I, on the other hand, will have to face my parents, the society, my family....and have an explanation for what had happened.
I know for a fact that I will not bring infidelity on to the table. What's the guarantee that my husband won't? Is marriage synonymous to 'taking a risk'? Is that what it has come down to?
Let's concentrate on me now. I can be extremely unbearable at times. I have occassional mood swings which might lead you to hate me. I over analyze at times. My stubborness and adamance about my views and beliefs can be annoying. I can be over dramatic. I can be petulant. 'That' person must be quite patient with me and I have a feeling that such person might not exist.
Well..ask me in 25 years.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The Pregnant Man
Yes, you read the title correctly. If you reside in the great United States of America, you must be familiar with the news by now. If not, well here's the story in the most concised form:
"Meet Thomas Beatie. He was born biologically female, had sex reassignment surgery, and is now legally male. When his wife, Nancy, was unable to have children, Thomas, who still has female genitalia, decided he’d carry their baby himself. And thus became the world’s first pregnant man."
Some more about Thomas that I think that people should know:
Thomas used to be Tracy LaGondino (Ms. Teen Hawaii runner up). Tracy was bi-racial- she was (still is) half Asian. Her mother killed herself when Tracy was very young (before she even reached puberty, I believe). Tracy had always preferred 'rough-and-tumble' play; ie, preferring to play just like boys with boys. It wasn't until after she reached puberty that Tracy realized that she was attracted to girls. She started wearing 'men's' attires during college years. She preferred to be addressed as a male. After her college years, she decided to surgically remove her breasts. She started taking testosterones and started developing male physical characteristics. She did keep her female reproductory organs because she had always wanted to have a baby. Tracy became Thomas. That means that after years of therapy, cross dressing, etc. this person became LEGALLY a male. He was rejected by 9 doctors (OB-GYNs). The couples have been threatened by homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders, transexuals, and heterosexuals equally.
Thomas and his wife decided to publish their story through 'People' magazine and Oprah. Mind you, I was not so convinced when I heard the story first. I had to make sure that people around me were sane, thus I decided to check the story out on the best webpage known to mankind: youtube. I decided to abandon all my chores and studies and sat down infront of the computer for what it seemed like HOURS watching Oprah on 'youtube'! Now, the videos were not that long. It's just that I was so tempted to see what people thought about the video that I went through thousands and thousands of comments. After reading the comments, I came to a decision: I must blog about this. Now a day when something interesting happens, the first thought that comes to my mind is 'this is going on my blog'! Oh. Have mercy!
I was rather surprised by the reaction of most of the people who watched the video. Some were furious. Some were angry. Some were in great deal of discomfort. Some were 'sick'. And of course most were 'upset'! I didn't find one comment that actually supported the couples. I have to say, I am quite disappointed by this. People were bashing Thomas by commenting that he's not a 'male'! Since he has female genetalia, he is a female - according to them.
Who or what is a male? Is that something that we are born as or is that something that we identify ourselves as or is that something that society TELLS us we are? Or does it come down to who we are attracted to? May be how we present ourselves in society?
I think that people should respect Thomas' decision..even if they are not willing to support him. He decides to have a baby. Why shouldn't he? It's his right!! How would you feel if a bunch of people knock on your door one fine day and try to control your life? You are entitled to live your life the way you want to live it. Thomas and his wife is not asking anybody for money. They are not asking you to aid them in any manner. They are not asking you to follow their path. They are partners (moreover, two human beings) trying to live their life and have a family. What say do YOU or I have in their life? The way that I look at it, they are trying to HAVE A FAMILY.
Who in the world gave you or I the right to judge others? This person is doing a noble deal. If people want SOMETHING to be upset over, I say that you start being upset over the SMOKERS around you. I'm sure that you'll be presented with accolades, if you can strip one person away from smoking. Want something else to be upset over? How about the millions of car crashes in your country caused by UNDERAGE DRINKING? Want something else to be furious at? How about the thousands and thousands of RAPES in your country? Heck, if you can't be furious at any of these, be furious at GEORGE W. BUSH. You have a reason to do that and I'm sure that your feelings/actions will be justified. If you can't relate to any of that, may be you should look into YOURSELF. All the wrongs that you have done. All the sins that you have committed. All the laws that you have ignored and disobeyed. When you are free of all the wrong doings and sins, start judging others.
I don't understand why people are so upset over Thomas and his decision. Frankly, I don't see a SINGLE reason why they should be! DO YOU?
I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I don't expect anyone to support this man and his family. I don't think that they are expecting that from anyone either. Can't people just mind their own business and go their way?!?!?!?!?
"Meet Thomas Beatie. He was born biologically female, had sex reassignment surgery, and is now legally male. When his wife, Nancy, was unable to have children, Thomas, who still has female genitalia, decided he’d carry their baby himself. And thus became the world’s first pregnant man."
Some more about Thomas that I think that people should know:
Thomas used to be Tracy LaGondino (Ms. Teen Hawaii runner up). Tracy was bi-racial- she was (still is) half Asian. Her mother killed herself when Tracy was very young (before she even reached puberty, I believe). Tracy had always preferred 'rough-and-tumble' play; ie, preferring to play just like boys with boys. It wasn't until after she reached puberty that Tracy realized that she was attracted to girls. She started wearing 'men's' attires during college years. She preferred to be addressed as a male. After her college years, she decided to surgically remove her breasts. She started taking testosterones and started developing male physical characteristics. She did keep her female reproductory organs because she had always wanted to have a baby. Tracy became Thomas. That means that after years of therapy, cross dressing, etc. this person became LEGALLY a male. He was rejected by 9 doctors (OB-GYNs). The couples have been threatened by homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders, transexuals, and heterosexuals equally.
Thomas and his wife decided to publish their story through 'People' magazine and Oprah. Mind you, I was not so convinced when I heard the story first. I had to make sure that people around me were sane, thus I decided to check the story out on the best webpage known to mankind: youtube. I decided to abandon all my chores and studies and sat down infront of the computer for what it seemed like HOURS watching Oprah on 'youtube'! Now, the videos were not that long. It's just that I was so tempted to see what people thought about the video that I went through thousands and thousands of comments. After reading the comments, I came to a decision: I must blog about this. Now a day when something interesting happens, the first thought that comes to my mind is 'this is going on my blog'! Oh. Have mercy!
I was rather surprised by the reaction of most of the people who watched the video. Some were furious. Some were angry. Some were in great deal of discomfort. Some were 'sick'. And of course most were 'upset'! I didn't find one comment that actually supported the couples. I have to say, I am quite disappointed by this. People were bashing Thomas by commenting that he's not a 'male'! Since he has female genetalia, he is a female - according to them.
Who or what is a male? Is that something that we are born as or is that something that we identify ourselves as or is that something that society TELLS us we are? Or does it come down to who we are attracted to? May be how we present ourselves in society?
I think that people should respect Thomas' decision..even if they are not willing to support him. He decides to have a baby. Why shouldn't he? It's his right!! How would you feel if a bunch of people knock on your door one fine day and try to control your life? You are entitled to live your life the way you want to live it. Thomas and his wife is not asking anybody for money. They are not asking you to aid them in any manner. They are not asking you to follow their path. They are partners (moreover, two human beings) trying to live their life and have a family. What say do YOU or I have in their life? The way that I look at it, they are trying to HAVE A FAMILY.
Who in the world gave you or I the right to judge others? This person is doing a noble deal. If people want SOMETHING to be upset over, I say that you start being upset over the SMOKERS around you. I'm sure that you'll be presented with accolades, if you can strip one person away from smoking. Want something else to be upset over? How about the millions of car crashes in your country caused by UNDERAGE DRINKING? Want something else to be furious at? How about the thousands and thousands of RAPES in your country? Heck, if you can't be furious at any of these, be furious at GEORGE W. BUSH. You have a reason to do that and I'm sure that your feelings/actions will be justified. If you can't relate to any of that, may be you should look into YOURSELF. All the wrongs that you have done. All the sins that you have committed. All the laws that you have ignored and disobeyed. When you are free of all the wrong doings and sins, start judging others.
I don't understand why people are so upset over Thomas and his decision. Frankly, I don't see a SINGLE reason why they should be! DO YOU?
I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I don't expect anyone to support this man and his family. I don't think that they are expecting that from anyone either. Can't people just mind their own business and go their way?!?!?!?!?
Monday, April 7, 2008
Careful what you wish for..
Piece I
"Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for"
That is a song by Chris Daughtry.
Piece II
My away message on Google talk yesterday (4/5/2008): "I need an iced coffee, junk food, and a hug."
Piece III
I was studying in the student lounge. My first class is at 10am. I get to college around 9 am so I can review or just study. It was around 9.50am. This guy (who was sitting next to a computer) walks up to me and smiles. I smile back (why not? I'm a friendly person). The conversation that followed really supported the fact that I, in fact, AM a very nice and friendly person.
Dude: Hey, I am ____ ( I really don't remember his name)
Me: Hey, I am Merin
Dude: Oh nice to meet you
Me: Sure..you too
Dude: Can I give you a hug?
Me: (laughing hysterically) EXCUSE ME?
Dude: Can I hug you?
Me: Oh...Emmm...(still laughing)..I'm sorry I'm uncomfortable with that.
Dude: Then..can I give you a kiss?
Me: EH? emm...sorry..I'm uncomfortable with that as well.
Dude: Come on...it's just a hug. I've been noticing you and you are very attractive.
Me: (Laughing more hysterically) I am extremely flattered. But I'm sorry..I really am very uncomfortable with that
Dude: You know..I'm not going to bite you or anything.
Me: (Laughing)..regardless..I'm sorry...I can't..!! I can't tell you how flattered and touched I am but..sorry!! Thank you, though. You just made my day. Sorry again..
Dude: sure..no problem (walks off)
This is the highlight of my day. No, this is the highlight of my week. No..this, my friend, is the highlight of my entire month!! Haha..! It just can't get better than this!!
When he told me 'you are very attractive'..I was so tempted to ask, 'are you sure that you are looking at ME?'! Well..I let him have his say. I think people are losing it!!!
"Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for"
That is a song by Chris Daughtry.
Piece II
My away message on Google talk yesterday (4/5/2008): "I need an iced coffee, junk food, and a hug."
Piece III
I was studying in the student lounge. My first class is at 10am. I get to college around 9 am so I can review or just study. It was around 9.50am. This guy (who was sitting next to a computer) walks up to me and smiles. I smile back (why not? I'm a friendly person). The conversation that followed really supported the fact that I, in fact, AM a very nice and friendly person.
Dude: Hey, I am ____ ( I really don't remember his name)
Me: Hey, I am Merin
Dude: Oh nice to meet you
Me: Sure..you too
Dude: Can I give you a hug?
Me: (laughing hysterically) EXCUSE ME?
Dude: Can I hug you?
Me: Oh...Emmm...(still laughing)..I'm sorry I'm uncomfortable with that.
Dude: Then..can I give you a kiss?
Me: EH? emm...sorry..I'm uncomfortable with that as well.
Dude: Come on...it's just a hug. I've been noticing you and you are very attractive.
Me: (Laughing more hysterically) I am extremely flattered. But I'm sorry..I really am very uncomfortable with that
Dude: You know..I'm not going to bite you or anything.
Me: (Laughing)..regardless..I'm sorry...I can't..!! I can't tell you how flattered and touched I am but..sorry!! Thank you, though. You just made my day. Sorry again..
Dude: sure..no problem (walks off)
This is the highlight of my day. No, this is the highlight of my week. No..this, my friend, is the highlight of my entire month!! Haha..! It just can't get better than this!!
When he told me 'you are very attractive'..I was so tempted to ask, 'are you sure that you are looking at ME?'! Well..I let him have his say. I think people are losing it!!!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
The saga continues..
I love Sundays. I could go to church and my spirit could be liberated for 3 hours. It's my time to be one with the Almighty, to be one with myself, and to forget anything and everything around me. The songs and prayers are so beautiful that I am tempted to repeat them in my mind. As I reading from the prayer book, I am astonished by the depth of the words. Really, I fall in love again and again with the Lord. ONLY if it were the case everyday. ONLY if I could pray like that everyday. ONLY if I could forget about my worries at least for 5 minutes every day. I am the most happiest as I enter the church and as I leave the church. As I enter, I am ecstatic about falling in love with God. As I leave, I am most convinced that I will change for the better. Unfortunately, it's been an ongoing process. Am I ever going to change? It's almost becoming banal. This capricious mentality must change. I just don't know how I can implement this onto my life. I guess I'm so disappointed with the real world that I am reluctant in changing myself for the better. What do you call this phenomena or reluctance? Is it my lame attempt at the ‘survival of the fittest‘ deal? Or just being plain lazy? Or being in denial?
As with everything, I do have a great issue with the day though. It is the beginning of yet another week. Another week full of worries, disappointments, anger, fury, embarrassments, and definitely fear. You are one day closer to death. You are one day closer to the D day. You are one day older. When did I become so pessimistic? No. I’m not pessimistic. As much as I would like to believe that statement, it is with the greatest of shame that I confess that I do fall into the long stretched and wrinkly hands of pessimism once in a while. At times, I am quite surprised by how my thoughts are occluded by the pessimism. When that happens, I can’t see much. I lose the motivation and inspiration to move on because I feel that there’s nothing to look forward to or that nothing is waiting for me or that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful that I get over this phase quite quickly. Somewhere along the road, life has taught me that dwelling on negative thoughts literally rip me up. Yet, it is so inevitable. I laugh at my own helplessness!
In the past few days, I have realized that I have changed for the better. The typical female reaction to adversities have almost disappeared from me. I am more laidback. I overlook certain things; I even look past some as well. I have become more understanding. I have become more patient. I have become more ‘human’ (In this case, being ‘human’ is a rather good thing, for a change). I love it. I have started complaining less (May be this has to do with the fact that I don’t talk to anyone on the phone now a day). Regardless, when you don’t have a source to whine to, you sit down and evaluate your actions and reactions. May be this is exactly what we need. Solitude. A few minutes to ourselves to meditate/pray. I have realized that I don’t have to ‘complain’ or ‘whine’ or ‘vent’ to humans. I can go into my room, read the Bible, and pray..and it is blissful! Who should I thank for the change in me? I say, I thank the people in my life!!
As with everything, I do have a great issue with the day though. It is the beginning of yet another week. Another week full of worries, disappointments, anger, fury, embarrassments, and definitely fear. You are one day closer to death. You are one day closer to the D day. You are one day older. When did I become so pessimistic? No. I’m not pessimistic. As much as I would like to believe that statement, it is with the greatest of shame that I confess that I do fall into the long stretched and wrinkly hands of pessimism once in a while. At times, I am quite surprised by how my thoughts are occluded by the pessimism. When that happens, I can’t see much. I lose the motivation and inspiration to move on because I feel that there’s nothing to look forward to or that nothing is waiting for me or that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful that I get over this phase quite quickly. Somewhere along the road, life has taught me that dwelling on negative thoughts literally rip me up. Yet, it is so inevitable. I laugh at my own helplessness!
In the past few days, I have realized that I have changed for the better. The typical female reaction to adversities have almost disappeared from me. I am more laidback. I overlook certain things; I even look past some as well. I have become more understanding. I have become more patient. I have become more ‘human’ (In this case, being ‘human’ is a rather good thing, for a change). I love it. I have started complaining less (May be this has to do with the fact that I don’t talk to anyone on the phone now a day). Regardless, when you don’t have a source to whine to, you sit down and evaluate your actions and reactions. May be this is exactly what we need. Solitude. A few minutes to ourselves to meditate/pray. I have realized that I don’t have to ‘complain’ or ‘whine’ or ‘vent’ to humans. I can go into my room, read the Bible, and pray..and it is blissful! Who should I thank for the change in me? I say, I thank the people in my life!!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Feeling blue!
There is no reason for me to be heavy hearted. Yet, I feel that any happy thought or optimism have been draining out of my mind. I have been sad. I'm talking about a person who's perky, hyper, and vivacious most of the time. She has a blank look on her face now and is uninterested in anything and everything. Yes, I'm talking about me. I've been thinking about what might have caused this sudden change and I am lost as ever! With no apparent reason, tears are making their way down. Well, I am sure that there is a reason. Everything that happens has a reason and for a reason. Is my mind not ready to accept the truth behind the 'blues'? Am I hiding something from myself? Is that even possible? My subconscious mind is preventing me from getting to the source of the problem? I think I want to scream my lungs out and cry. I found myself crying while in the train. The most random of places with strangers around me, my eyes started filling up!! Hopefully all this will end soon because I really am not liking this 'phase'! I think I'm stressed. That's weird..because I'm rarely stressed. May be this is how my mind reacts to stress? Oh, I have lost my appetite. There's definitely something wrong because I'm not hungry anymore. Armageddon?
I have been talking less as well. I am beginning to fear that I'll turn into an asocial in no time if this progresses. I want to be happy. I want to smile. I want to jump up and down. I want to feel great. I want to just..be me. If you're thinking that this is THAT time of the month..no it's not. Am I going through some hormonal changes? What kind of damn hormonal changes would I be going through at the age of 22?
On another note, I am losing interest in 'checking out' guys. Not only am I turning asocial, I am also missing out on one of the greatest pleasures known to women and men equally. Yeah. Absolutely great. I'm not complaining. I just cringe when my dear friends ask me if I've decided to join the other side. I think I need an eye opener. No, I need a drink!
May be I should go sit under a tree. Either an apple will fall on my head which will stimulate my brain cells and I can get an answer to all my questions. Or I can sit under a Bodhi tree (wonder if there are any in Georgia) and I'll be enlightened.
I feel better already!
I have been talking less as well. I am beginning to fear that I'll turn into an asocial in no time if this progresses. I want to be happy. I want to smile. I want to jump up and down. I want to feel great. I want to just..be me. If you're thinking that this is THAT time of the month..no it's not. Am I going through some hormonal changes? What kind of damn hormonal changes would I be going through at the age of 22?
On another note, I am losing interest in 'checking out' guys. Not only am I turning asocial, I am also missing out on one of the greatest pleasures known to women and men equally. Yeah. Absolutely great. I'm not complaining. I just cringe when my dear friends ask me if I've decided to join the other side. I think I need an eye opener. No, I need a drink!
May be I should go sit under a tree. Either an apple will fall on my head which will stimulate my brain cells and I can get an answer to all my questions. Or I can sit under a Bodhi tree (wonder if there are any in Georgia) and I'll be enlightened.
I feel better already!
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