It has been a while since I have posted something here. I have much to do. I should be sleeping now so that I can wake up early in the morning and study for 10+ hours tomorrow. Ah. Procrastination seems so right. It feels so right. It sounds so right. I guess it must be right then. Academics are taking up 90% of my time. The rest is dedicated to basic needs. I was thinking aloud one day and my friend supports me on this: we could accomplish so many things if we did not have to sleep. It was not until I took a class on sleep that I realized that I need to take better care of myself. I wish I could share the knowledge with the rest of the world....but I can't...there's just so much to know and realize. I might write a book one day. I tell people to get adequate amount of sleep at a regular time. If you don't, your mind will start fooling with you. If you don't sleep (that too, REM sleep), you will definitely have both health problems and 'mental' problems. My theory is that dreams are body's way of consolidating memory. Well..I'm not gonna go into any more details. So...those who don't get adequate sleep, please try to. Trust me, your excuse of 'my body is used to 2 hours of sleep and I can't sleep for more than that' is bogus. A human needs at least 6 hours of sleep. None of you are superhuman...so...start sleeping right!!
I want to scream out to the world what I'm feeling, but I can't. I'm not sure what is hindering it. May be it is self doubt. I am a busy person. Or I should be a busy person with the amount of things that I have to do and take care of. Yet, at times, I stop dead in tracks thinking about this. Sadly and unfortunately, this is quite familiar. The last time I let myself feel like this, I ended up in abyss. Self-restraint is not working out. May be I just don't want to be restrained. May be I want to liberate myself. Not good. If that happens, I will be bogged on on these thoughts that it will occlude my thought process..hence ceasing me from reaching my goals. I've got to say.. at this point in my life..my goals are quite realistic. Yet, my wants (not 'needs') are quite idealistic. To get over the temptation, I have to have a strong motivation. I do have a strong motivation. So what is the problem?!?!
It's like infatuation and attraction. Certain emotions overlap. At the same time, you are not really sure as to what you are feeling. Frustration and desperation occlude your thinking. So what are you going to do about it? Ask yourself. YEAH RIGHT. Like that is going to go anywhere. You will end up with more questions. There's only one thing left: you have to convince yourself that it is not one of your priorities and that it is not worth hours of pondering. Do you know why most relationships fail? Desperation! Most people are in a relationship because they WANT to be in a relationship not because they NEED to be in one. They can't bear the thought of being alone. So they pick the next person that shows an interest in them. When you need to be with a particular person, that is when you know that you love him or her. Now, my question is answered. It's not a need. It's a want...definitely as a result of desperation. I can move on now. I'm content!
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